Question:

I teach second grade and have a boy who was adopted from Russia in my classroom. His parents are very loving and provide him with a good home. At the parent teacher conference I told them I was concerned about some of his behaviors. They told me that he had an attachment disorder. What is this?

Answer:

Thank you for this important question. Certain psychiatric diagnoses given to children are constantly in the news these days, but many people, including teachers, come across very little information about attachment disorders.

Child development professionals used the term “attachment” to describe the close bond that develops between a child and one or more primary caregivers during the first three years of the child’s life. Through touch, gestures, sounds, and eye contact, the child and caregiver learn to “read” and respond to one another’s signals. Through understanding and responding to the child’s signals, the caregiver is able to meet many of the child’s needs most of the time (no one can be perfect!). This enables the child develop the feelings of safety and trust that are the basis of secure attachment. Secure attachment provides the foundation for developing qualities, such as empathy and reciprocity, which form the basis of future relationships.

Children whose basic needs were not reliably met by a consistent and responsive caregiver at the beginning of life often experience attachment problems. This occurs even if the child was given adequate food, shelter, and medical care. The child with disordered attachment lacks the foundation to develop positive, trusting relationships with others.

Many children adopted from eastern Europe began their lives in poorly-funded orphanages with too few caregivers to provide the consistent, personal care they needed. Other children can be at risk of attachment problems due to parental abandonment, neglect, disruptions in parenting due to family illness, crisis, or trauma.

If a student in your classroom has attachment problems, your student may show some of the following characteristics and behaviors:

• Inability to trust adults in authority.
• Resistance to nurturing or guidance.
• Unwillingness to get close to others; resistance to positive overtures.
• Ambivalent, approach-avoidance behaviors.
• Words and actions that purposefully disappoint or provoke anger in others.
• Poor self-control, frequent impulsive behavior.
• Few or no close, long-term friends.

Children with attachment problems are extremely challenging to parent or teach. When a child’s attachment problems are extremely severe, the child may be diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). If your student has difficulties severe enough to qualify for this diagnosis, you might also see some of the following:

• Severely inhibited, guarded behavior.
• Extreme vigilance; “frozen watchfulness” (the deer-in-the-headlight look).
• Apathy; limited responsiveness to the environment.

or

• Ability to be superficially charming and engaging, especially with strangers.
• Extreme need to control others (which may worsen as a child gets older).
• Destructive, cruel, argumentative, or hostile behavior.
• Little or no expression of empathy, remorse, or compassion.
• Manipulation, including pitting adults against one another.
• Frequent tantrums and rages, often over trivial issues.
• Lying or stealing. May sneak things he/she could have by asking.

It is very important to understand that:

As infants and toddlers, these children learned that they cannot trust adults to keep them safe. The closer they come to trusting someone, the more affection they feel, and the more they become invested in a relationship, the more vulnerable they feel. Their sense of vulnerability leads to severe anxiety or even panic. To keep themselves safe from being let down, they often react by withdrawing or resorting to obnoxious behavior to push others away.

Teachers can help a student with attachment problems by:

• Remaining consistent and positive with the student, while carrying out consequences consistent with classroom rules.
• Maintaining a safe, predictable, highly structured classroom environment.
• Working with other team members to be consistent and united, even if your student tries to play you off against one another.
• Remembering that as your student begins to trust you or care about the relationship, he/she may feel more vulnerable and respond by behaving in ways that push you away. The student may withdraw abruptly and avoid you or lash out at you.
• Trying not to take it personally or become overly upset when your student withdraws or lashes out.