Question:

Ms. Harvell,

My son is soon to be a senior in high school. He has a learning disability and has had limited success throughout his school career. His father and I would like him to try the local community college, but he’s adamant that once he graduates, school is over for him. Please help us encourage him to continue school.

Anxious parents

Answer:

Dear Anxious parents,

Congratulations to your son for willing to stay in school and graduate. However, several questions come to mind about your son as I consider a response to your concern regarding college.

• What are the specific reasons for his unhappiness with school? What are the challenging issues, e.g., course work too difficult, lack of friends, or social activities?
• Has he expressed his wishes/concerns with his teachers?
• Has he expressed an interest in exploring the world of work?
• Does he want to work and save money before thinking about the future?
• Does he know about trade jobs that do not require a college degree?

Considering these questions may help you and your son begin to collaborate on taking steps for success after high school. Your goal is to help your son successfully transition from high school to adult life. His options could be work, attending technical school, adult education programs, or a community college. Whatever the case, encourage him to think about the future by considering some of the following tips:

1. Respect your son’s decision

It may be difficult for you and your husband to accept his decision. He may not feel prepared for such a giant step if the opportunity to explore this option has not been presented either at school or home. Talk with his teacher(s) and together encourage him to keep his options open and to work hard. Doing so may inspire him to pursue his education later.

2. Encourage him to explore possible careers of interest

A great place to start is at school. Find out what his teachers have done to help him explore jobs, e.g., complete an interest inventory, job shadow different people at work, interview people with jobs that interest him, and discuss vocational programs like the Regional Occupational Program (ROP). Use the Internet at home or the public library to find out information about all kinds of jobs. A website to provide information and link him to various job related sites is: www.bls.gov.

3. Teach your son independent living skills

• Have you talked with your son about money and time management? He will definitely need to learn to balance a budget, know banking options, spend and save money wisely, and use credit and ATM cards. Many banks have reader-friendly information/brochures to start the money management process.
• Does he get to school and other appointments on time? If you haven’t discussed these issues with him, now is a good time for him to learn how to become a self-manager (with help as needed). Be sure to show him how to set and achieve realistic goals in the process.
• What are his responsibilities around the house? Cleaning his room, mowing the law, washing dishes, and doing his own laundry are skills he will need to live independently.

4. Explore your son’s interests and abilities

Ask yourself and ask him about school and non-school interests and abilities he has, and then involve him in those activities. His high school or the city Park and Recreation Department should have various activities available.

5. Use your connections with colleagues and friends

As the kids say “Hook him up.” Introducing him to people in his field of interest may lead to a mentorship.

6. Encourage and/or redefine the relationship between your son and his teacher(s), especially his special education case manager.

If teachers don’t know their students, they can’t help them with mentoring, writing resumes, and creating meaningful curriculum to include your son’s interests and abilities. Remember, communication and collaboration between your son, teachers, and you will be a key to his success.

7. Check your and your spouse’s attitude towards education and the work force

Are you always talking to him about going to college and getting a good job afterwards? If so, you might try working with him on improving areas of weakness and providing positive attitudes about various postsecondary options to going to college.

8. Assure and support your son through his feelings of uncertainty

We have all experienced levels of ambivalence related to our futures. Let him know that it okay to feel confused and undecided about the next steps in his life. Let him know that finding the right niche for oneself is a process everyone goes through.

One resource I often recommend to parents, teachers and students is titled Transition to Adult Living: A Guide for Secondary Education. You can view the entire document at http://www.cde.ca.gov/sp/se/sr/documents/transitiongde.pdf

I hope these tips help you. Please let me know what happens after your son graduates from high school.