Question:

I am really feeling like I am losing my son. My son was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago when he was ten. He has been taking Concerta now for about year and a half. This had been working for him. He is in seventh grade this year and wanted to try to attend school without the medication. The first month and half of school was horrible. He was constantly in trouble and was failing 3 out the 5 academic courses. I have since put him back on the medication. The behavioral problems at school have decreased but he still is failing to hand in his homework and is stilling failing most of his classes.

I am afraid that the medication is not enough. He needs some special attention at school. I am unable to help him with his homework because he seems to resist my assistance. The school my son attends does not have any one on the staff that is trained in ADHD. My question is where can I get him the help he needs? I live in Grass Valley, California. I have looked for doctors, counselors or a psychiatrist that specializes in children with ADHD. I need help. I know that continuing to fail at school is not helping his self-esteem. I just don't know how to help him. I have tried to help him organize his notebook, homework and to study for his tests but I am just not getting through to him.

Can you help?????? Desperate Mom

Answer:

Dear Desperate,

Carefully monitored medication is the most effective treatment for ADHD, and does help students attend. However, no medication can teach organization and study skills. A combination of medication, psycho-social, and educational interventions have the best outcome for most students with ADHD. As a parent, you can help your son by:

At school, your son could be eligible for Section 504 accommodations under the category "other health impaired." Depending on the severity of his impairment, he may also be eligible for special education and an Individual Education Plan (IEP). As a parent, you can ask him to be evaluated for Section 504 and/or special education services if you feel this would be helpful. Section 504 accommodations allow him to remain in the general classroom without the stigma often attached to special education. With accommodations, your son can have shortened assignments, a list of assignments in advance, and other supports that give him access to the curriculum. You may be interested in taking our online course about Section 504 to help you determine which type of service is best. The training is available at:

http://www.dcn-cde.ca.gov/504/504_index.htm

You and your family would probably benefit from the support of other families experiencing similar challenges. I have frequently referred to the organization Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (CHADD). CHADD provides information, resources and support for supporting children who have attention disorders. Although it doesn't appear that they have an in-person group in Grass Valley, membership in CHADD entitles you to join online discussion groups and real time chats with the experts and to have access to articles like the one above. For more information, visit: http://www.chadd.org

Another organization you might want to be aware of is the Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute. This group maintains a list of professionals recommended by their members. If you are looking for a counselor, psychiatrist, pediatrician or coach, their list may be helpful. The KP Institute is online at: http://www.kpinst.org

As you continually educate yourself about ADHD, you will want to help your son understand his difficulties and learn to advocate for himself. Although 95% of students with ADHD do not graduate from college, those that do are successful because they understand their attention problems and know when and how to ask for help. Chris Zeigler-Dendy is a mother, educator, and mental health professional who has raised a son with ADHD. She has written extensively about parenting and educating teens. She also conducts teen panels where students from middle school through early college share their experiences and has captured one of these on a video, "Teen to Teen: The ADD Experience" which might be enlightening for you and your son to watch. She and her son, Alex, have written a book with students from one of these panels entitled, "A Birds Eye View of Life with ADD and ADHD: Advice from Young Survivors" which is an excellent resource for educating teens about attention problems. Her products are available at: http://www.chrisdendy.com

You and your son will need to communicate with his teachers about his needs. Sadly, many teachers need to be convinced that kids with ADHD are not just lazy. Many families have found that giving teachers a portfolio of information on attention deficit disorder and ways that ADHD interferes with success in school is helpful. Consider scheduling a conference with each of your son's teachers early in the year to discuss his accommodations and to share information about ADHD. Avoid power struggles with teachers at all costs. Instead, support your son to share with the teachers how he learns best. Follow this link to an article titled, "Executive Function" that I've found to be informative for teachers.

When you have secured appropriate services, you will need to work closely with your son's teachers to improve his organizational skills. Even after he enters high school, you will probably need to call teachers to keep up with his progress. Be sure to involve your son in determining accommodations and train him to eventually take over the job of communicating with teachers. Set up a system with his teachers for communicating about homework. Homework can be posted on a website. If your son tends to lose work, he could e-mail his assignments directly to the teacher. Your son may be able to take around an assignment sheet to be checked by his teachers.

Don't give up yet! Remember, what's lost can be found. Many parents have had similar experiences. The link below leads to a story about an amazing family. Perhaps their story will give you hope... "From Police Calls to College Halls".