Question:

Dear Specialist,

I am the mother of Joe, who is in elementary school. We have a family history of "panic attacks" and I am worried that Joe may be developing them. Yesterday he refused to go to school and my husband had to bring him home. This morning I found him in a corner, sobbing. He told me that his head felt funny and that he is afraid to go to school. My husband took him anyway and again, had to bring him home. He had similar episodes when he was in preschool. I thought maybe he just wants to be home with me.

We talked about panic attacks and even joked a little but I am worried and want to know what I should do.

Answer:

This kind of difficulty with school attendance is very common, especially in the early grades. It is so common that, in Sweden, parents are given time off from work to help their children adjust to their early school experiences. I don't know how old Joe is but assume he is in kindergarten or first grade.

I would not automatically call Joe's behavior a "panic attack". By doing so, this gives him the message that he has the same "problem" as several other family members and this may not be the case at all. He is a child with issues of his own.

Reassurance is the name of the game. You probably have already spoken with his teachers and most primary teachers have experience with this type of difficulty. It is important that you talk to his teacher to make sure that he has not had a bad experience in class, on the playground, or in the bathroom at with teasing, bullying, or other behavior. If the teacher knows of no problems, it sounds like you are doing what you should. Continue to talk with him and let him know the more school that he goes to school, the easier it will be.

I tend to look at children's behavior first, as in the range of normal. (Believe me, in the last 25 years I've certainly seen true "abnormal"). There is such a thing as "school phobia" and yes, it is thought to be more common when youngsters are particularly attached to their parents.

If the problem continues, I suggest that you talk with the school counselor or psychologist. The school may recommend other resources. I found several Internet sites that seem to do a good job of discussing this in more depth:

http://www.findarticles.com/cf_dls/g2602/0004/2602000469/p1/article.jhtml

http://www.fenichel.com/schoolphobia.html

Please let me know how Joe is doing.